Never Underestimate the Stupidity of Men
by sunnycouger
Summary: Fred wants to date Angelina but can't find the courage, George kissed Hermione but can't tell Ron who wants George to find out who Hermione is going to the ball with! Wecome to the tangled lovelives of the Gryfindors. F/A, R/H, + more Part 5!!
1. A Tale of Two Brothers...of the dense va...

Never Underestimate the Stupidity of Men...

Author: Sunnycouger (sunnycouger@lineone.net) 

Rating: PG 

Disclaimer: Not mine, JKR owns all and makes the billions from it :( I just borrow them on occasion to ahve my wicked way with them ;) 

Category: Fred and Angelina. With some minor George and Hermione/Ron and Hermione, Lee and Alicia... 

~ ~ ~ 

It was a late afternoon in the Gryffindor common room and Fred Weasley was bored. His brother was teasing Neville Longbottom and although Fred usually enjoyed that particular pursuit, today he was troubled. He drummed his hands against the chair arm as he sighed loudly. Yule Ball, two words that were dogging his thoughts. 

"I swear to god if you sigh one more time when I'm trying to do this I will personally strangle you." 

Fred looked down to see an irritible looking Lee Jordan trying to perform a memory charm on himself. 

"What? What are you trying to learn anyway?" Fred asked as he looked down at his frustrated friend. 

Lee sighed and looked at him seriously. "I bet Alicia that I knew more about the history of quidditch than she did, so she took a little offence in it and decided that I should put my galleons where my mouth is..." 

Fred surpressed the desire to laugh for a second before giving up and laughing at his friend. "You are scared that you are going to lose to a girl?" He shook his head in mock disappointment as he continued. "Lee, Lee, Lee...that's...pitiful. Truly...you should just go and sit over there with Neville and Colin. Go on..." 

Lee gave him a death glare before turning back to his wand. "Asimo Remoro Lilora." 

In a flash a puff of smoke had come from Lee's wand and shot towards the book he was trying the charm on. In a second the book glowed before smouldering and burning right through. Fred grinned as Lee looked at it with horror before reaching up and scratching his head. "Okay, that really wasn't supposed to happen..." 

"No kidding," Fred said as he looked down at the burnt pages. "Never mind, there's Hermione, ask her. She'll know 101 memory charms that won't disintergrate the book. Oi, Hermione, come on over and teach a frustrated quidditch commentator how to beat a girl." 

As Fred shouted over half of the occupants of the common room turned round to look at Lee who who blushing furiously as he picked up the remnants of the book and hit Fred hard with it on the leg. "Thanks for that." 

"Not a problem, I knew you'd appreciate it." Fred managed to say with a grin as he rubbed his leg. 

"Appreciate what?" A female voice appeared behind Lee which caused both him and Fred to look up to see Angelina Johnson and Katie Bell standing there. 

"I'm trying to help Mr Useless there beat a girl." Fred said with a grin which caused Angelina to nod her head and laugh gently. 

"Ah, the infamous quidditch bet, Alicia has been rhyming stats off in her sleep and said she's going to use the money you'll owe her on her outfit for the Yule Ball." 

Lee rolled his eyes and began muttering. "Well, at least that's something, my galleons will be put to use making my date look stunning..." 

Fred looked up at Angelina and shook his head before turning away as Lee smiled to himself mischievously. "So, I'm going with Alicia, Katie, you're going with that stupid Ravenclaw guy...where's the loyalty?" 

"Joshua." Katie said severely as she glared at Lee who simply shrugged his shoulders. 

"Whatever, you're still being a traitor. George is going with someone, apparently and what about you Fred? You got a date yet? Hmm?" 

Angelina looked interested as Fred looked at Lee and tried to sound happy through gritted teeth. "I'm just narrowing down the available candidates, there's plenty of time. It's not like I have to go with the first girl I see..." 

Angelina looked slightly hurt but hid it quickly as Lee turned to her. "What about you? I can't believe that you haven't been asked yet. Who's the lucky guy?" 

Angelina looked at Katie pleadingly before answering. "Well, I'm kinda keeping my options open, I mean, a couple of people have asked me, but...keeping an open mind you know?" 

Lee nodded and Katie kicked Lee hard before grabbing Angelina's arm and pulling her away. "Well, we'd love to stay and chat, but me and Angelina have to wade through her invites. Anyone who hasn't asked her better move fast, isn't that right Angelina? Because she won't be on the market for long..." 

As Katie finished her ststaement she glared intently at Fred who looked at her blankly as Angelina turned he head to look at Katie as she was being pulled away. "Still on the market? What am I? A cow?" 

As they disappeared from earshot Lee turned around and looked at a deflated looking Fred. "Oh come on, you go over there and ask her and she'll go with you. It's Angelina! You know, you've been teasing her and joking with her for 7 years. Who else would she go with?" 

"Oh I don't know, half the flippin' school?" Fred said with a sigh. It was true, him and Angelina had been close since 1st year, they had even been each others first kiss, although technically, he reasoned, that was part of a bet and hadn't been that enjoyable at the time...although if he had the chance again.... She was the first person he had thought of last year to go to the Yule Ball, and the same this year. But this time it was different. This time it would be the last Yule Ball they would attend, and after graduation there was the distinct chance that their relationship would develop no futher. He sighed again and ignored Lee as he rolled his eyes. He wasn't sure he could imagine life without Angelina being an integral part of it, and he knew that he didn't just want her as a friend... 

"Earth to planet Fred? Hello..." Fred snapped out of his thinking to see a hand waving in front of his face. He looked up at George who was now grinning along with Lee. 

"What?" Fred asked irritably. 

George looked shocked before busting out laughing. "Nothing, we just thought you had turned catatonic. Lee was getting ready to check for a pulse." 

Fred looked at them both unimpressed. "Hardy har har...shouldn't you be anoying Neville or something?" 

George looked at Lee and the both of them burst out laughing. "It must be love, he's lost his sense of humour..." 

Fred sighed and looked at George. "Who are you taking to the ball?" 

George suddenly looked grim as he sat down. "Um, that's kind of complicated..." 

"Why's it complicated?" Lee looked at him quizically before widening his eyes and whispering to them both. "Unless...you don't want to take a guy to the ball do you?" 

Fred couldn't help but let out a loud laugh as George looked at Lee in horror. "No. Why? Do I seem like a person who would want to take a guy to a ball?" 

Lee looked at George and shrugged his shoulders as he turned back to his wand. "Hey, to each their own..." 

George looked at Lee desperately. "I don't give off those signals do I?" 

Lee looked at his wand intently as Fred snickered from the seat. "Umm, no, of course not..." 

George exhaled deeply and grinned. "Good, good...so...yeah, IhaveaskedHermionetotheballRondoesn'tknowyet, so what's for dinner?" 

Fred almost chocked and Lee dropped his wand as they both looked at George in shock. Him and Hermione? "George, could we have that again at half speed?" 

George looked at Fred and took a deep breath. "Do you think that Ron will kill me? I mean, he'll be a little pissed but pain and curses I can handle but I'd rather stay breathing..." 

Lee let out a low whistle as the three of them closed the circle a little as they began to talk in a whisper. 

"It's a distinct possibility that Ron will kill you, and if he misses you then Harry will get you and if he misses you you just have to deal with Mum...so the possibility of you dying is high..." 

Lee looked at George and shook his head disbelievingly. "How? How did you end up with Hermione?" 

Fred looked at George expectantly. "Good question. I mean, its not like you didn't know that her and Ron had a thing going. Why did you ask her?" 

George looked at his brother and shook his head. Fred looked at him unforgivingly. It was true that he was his identical twin but sometimes he could have such bad judgement. He definitely allowed his heart to rule his head too often...a Weasley family trait that was particulary bad in his brother. And people sometimes said he was the reckless one? 

"I...It just kinda happened! You know she asked me about how the exams would go and she was kinda freaking again and we sort of...just...kissed..." 

"Eww, no details...Hermione's been at the house that often I assumed you saw her in an asexual sort of way...you know, like a book or a broom?" Fred winced as Lee shook his head and picked his wand up and charmed little smoke figures of George, Ron and Hermione to shoot out the end and act out a greek tragedy where Ron and George kill each other. 

George frowned at Lee as he dispersed the smoke figures and turned to Fred. "I did see her in an asexual way then...just...not anymore..." 

Fred stood up and looked at George and shook his head. "This is way too much information. Sorry George...but, you have lost it my friend." 

"Too many canara creams...he's got a bird sized brain..." Lee added helpfully as he stood up and followed Fred away. "So, now we've discovered who your brothers taking...go ask Angelina..." 

Fred groaned as he walked to the boys dorm. No way was he asking Angelina just to get turned down...he would just ahve to see who the competition was and then deal with them man to man. 

TBC 


	2. A Solution!!!

Never Underestimate the Stupidity of Men...

Author: Sunnycouger (sunnycouger@lineone.net) 

Rating: PG 

Disclaimer: Not mine, JKR owns all and makes the billions from it :( I just borrow them on occasion to ahve my wicked way with them ;) 

Category: Fred and Angelina. With some minor George and Hermione/Ron and Hermione, Lee and Alicia...plus others that will be revealed in later parts :) 

Authors Note: This was going to be a G/H fic as well, but I can't seem to kurb my inner sidekick so it is now going to be R/Hr: I'm sorry to all you G/Hr'ers, I love the ship but I can't seem to write it :( 

All feedback is greatly appreciated! :) 

~ ~ ~ 

"You are doing what?!?! With Hermione???!!!???!" 

George looked around desperately unable to escape the furious face of his younger brother as he glared at him. He opened his mouth to respond but all that would come out was a small squeak as Ron looked at him and pulled his wand out. This was going to hurt...but wait? Ron dropped the wand to the floor and George looked up. 

"I don't want to hex you, George...I want to kill you with my bare hands..." In that instant Ron pounced and wrapped his hands around George's throat and began choking him while repeating "with Hermione?" Over and over... 

George Weasley opened his eyes abruptly and immediately put his hand to his throat as he took a deep breath. Nope, Ron was definitely not still choking him. Damn his vivid imagination. Sure it came in handy when creating jokes and pranks but now? He took a deep breath and stood up purposefully as he looked at his tall brother. This was simple. All he had to do was walk over there, say his piece: that he had kissed Hermione a few days ago and they were going to the Yule Ball together. Ron would take it like a man and they would shake on it and then things would be back to normal. That was the plan, besides...Ron was a reasonable man. He would understand. 

"Hey, George. C'mere a sec...I have to talk to you." George jumped slightly as the unbelievably tall figure of his younger brother looked directly at him. When had he got so tall? Or when had George got so small? Ron couldn't know already...Hermione had said George should tell. 

George took a deep breath as he walked over. It was a good day to die... "Ron, hi. How's it going? How's the work going? You know if Snape is still giving you a hard time I know..." 

Ron looked at George like he had come from another planet as he shook his head. "What are you talking about? No, it's nothing to do with that...it's just..." Ron pulled George away from the group of Harry, Seamus and Dean and whispered to him. "You know the Yule Ball?" 

George felt his throat constrict, was it getting hot in here? "Um, I heard...some people mention it..." 

"Like the whole school?" 

"Well, not the *whole* school..." 

Ron shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Whatever, the big ball that's coming up. I think there's something weird going on...with all the girls. Ginny turned down Harry..._HARRY_..." he shook his head like he was still trying to take the shock of it in. "Hermione is going with some...guy...apparently. Bloody Krum I bet..." 

George gulped self consciously as he pulled at his robes at his neck while trying to concentrate on his brother. "Lavender is going with Neville of all people and apparently Angelina isn't going with Fred. She's...even considering going with a Hufflepuff..." 

"Um...well, I think Fred is going to ask her. He just hasn't had the guts to do it yet." 

"Well, according to Parvati and Lavender she's already accepted." 

George's eyes went wide. "She's what?! Why'd she go and do a stupid thing like that? She knew he would have asked her eventually." 

"Yeah well...what about Hermione?" 

"Her...Hermione? Were...were you going to ask her?" 

Ron looked at his brother like he was the stupidest person on the planet. "Well, I wouldn't know she was going with someone if I wasn't going to ask her. I was even going to ask her first..." He looked down and kicked his shoe absently, "she said she didn't want asked as a last resort and now she doesn't even give me a chance to ask her. Bloody Krum I bet, stupid Bulgarian twit can't even say her name right. Herm-own-ninny? If me or Harry called her Herm-own-ninny we would be strung up." 

"To be fair, he is Viktor Krum, he could call me whatever he wanted to..." 

"You're not helping!" Ron said impatiently as he looked at George irritably. "What should I do?" 

George looked at his younger brother and felt a twang of guilt. "Um...you could ask her? Did you actually ask her?" 

"Well, no...but...it's just..." Ron looked down as the tips of his ears began to flush. "You know, it's Hermione. Hermione. She should have known I would ask her after last year..." 

The twang of guilt now had turned into full waves of gut-wrenching guilt. 

"Well, Ron...you know, I think you should let me handle this..." He put his hand on his brother's shoulder. Did he really want to go to the ball with Hermione anyway? Not anymore... "Just...don't ask anyone else to the dance until I've spoken to her. But you have to deal with whatever is going on with Ginny. Because I can't sort out your love life, listen to Fred moan about Angelina, stop Lee from betting all his galleons away and worry about Harry's bruised ego. She's probably just going with Colin..." 

"Ha, I thought about that but Colin is going with a Slitherin. A Slytherin!" 

"He's not!" George said aghast as he looked over towards the tiny 4th year who was sitting alone. "Someone has to have a word with him." 

Ron nodded his head as he looked over at Colin and spoke loudly so that the whole common room could hear. "We have. We had a long conversation about house loyalty!" 

Colin shifted uncomfortably as the rest of the Gryffindors looked at him accusingly before scutteling away to the portrait hole. George shook his head and let out a sigh, why was nothing simple? 

"You all have to stop being so hard on him," a voice said from behind them. George span around to see a furious looking Ginny and an unamused looking Hermione. He took a deep breath as he felt himself suffocate with Ron on one side of him and Hermione on the other. 

He just had to focus on something else, anything else...hmm, was that new robes that Hermione was wearing? New lip gloss? He quickly turned away and choked. Okay, he just had to relax. 

_You're a good actor, George. Just relax. It's Hermione. Just Hermione. Your younger brothers date to the Yule Ball once your done. Just forget about yourself and torment Ginny, that'll relax you._

"So, Ginny. Why did you turn Harry down?" 

Ginny looked at him open mouthed as she blushed slightly. "I...had a date." 

"With who? Is he in your year?" George asked as him and Ron stood side by side and folded their arms in the stereotypical older brother pose. George looked around to see if he could find Fred, this conversation always went better when there was more than 2 of them looking threatening. 

"Is he a Gryffindor?" Ron added. 

Ginny shook her head as she composed herself and folded her own arms. "No, and no." 

"Have you been out with him before?" 

Hermione looked at Ron and shook her head. "I don't think Ginny..." 

Ron raised his hand to silence her as he looked at Ginny. "When did you get over Harry?" 

Ginny looked unimpressed. "Yeah, I've been out with him before. And as for Harry, was I supposed to save myself until he decided to notice him? I've been over him for ages, not that any of you noticed!" 

"Yeah, to be fair if you spoke more than 3 words to him we might have been able to guess that," George said worriedly. "Okay, tell us who you are going with. And please tell me it's at least a Hufflepuff...they seem a good sort." 

"Apart from Ernie MacMillan and Justin Finch Fletchley, they are irritating gits..." 

"Yeah, apart from Ernie, I don't mind Justin because if you marry him it will be like having another Percy around..." 

Ron looked at George and shook his head. "You say that like it's a good thing?" 

"It's not a Hufflepuff..." Ginny said as she barged her way past her brothers with a strange smile as she walked towards the portrait hole. 

Ron turned around and looked at George gravely as he let out a breath. "Ravenclaw..." 

"Oh, I forgot to mention as well," Ginny stopped as she opened the door and smirked at her brothers, "it's not Ravenclaw either..." 

Before either brother had a chance to respond she had disappeared as Ron and George looked at each other in shock as the revelation dawned on them. 

"She's...she wouldn't..." Ron said quietly as George shook his head. "Not with a..." 

"No way...no, she's pulling our leg. Definitely, she wouldn't..." George said as he punched Ron's shoulder hard. "This is because you mentioned the damn Harry thing! You wound her up!" 

"I didn't wind her up! I just wanted to know!" 

"Oh, bloody good job then!" 

"Excuse me?" Hermione said irritably as she looked at both of them. "Maybe if you hadn't went in brothers from hell mode she would have been able to tell you who she was going with?" 

George shook his head and looked at Ron. Time to face the music, Ron could deal with talking Ginny out of whatever madness she was involved in and he would fix this twisted melodrama that was the Yule Ball. 

"You should go and see where she is away to, Ron." He leant in close to Ron and whispered inaudibly to Hermione. "That will let me talk to Hermione." 

Ron looked at Hermione and then to George. "Good idea. I'll see you later." 

He began walking away but before he got to the door he stopped and looked at Hermione. "So, when is Kr..._Vikky_ getting here?" 

Hermione groaned and tossed her hair as she spoke through clenched teeth. "It's Viktor and he is not coming! For the 50th time, I'm not going with Viktor!" 

Ron rolled his eyes and turned away as he muttered, "Sure you're not, and the Chudley Canons will win the inter European cup next year...who else would you be going with?" 

As he disappeared Hermione clenched her fists and looked at George. "He is the most infuriating, dense, slow, sorry excuse for a man...ever!" 

George looked at her and sighed. His brother was dense, lots of guys would probably go for a girl like Hermione. "Hermione...we have to talk. It's important." 

Hermione sighed and nodded her head. "Fine, I think I know what's coming but come on..." She began walking to the portrait hole, "we'll talk in the library." 

George stopped as he shook his head. "No, no, no, no, no...I have successfully avoided voluntary visits to the library for seven years so it's not going to happen." 

"George!" Hermione said as she looked at him disapprovingly. 

"Hermione!" George echoed back at her in a whiny voice. "I know where we can talk..." 

He walked over to her and took her arm and gently pulled her along. Ron owed him big time for this. They walked out the portrait hole and down the corridor as Fred stormed past them, lips pursed aggressively with mud covering his robes and hair. 

"Hey Fred, spoke to Angeli..." Hermione began cheerily. 

"Sod off, all women suck! You all need flipping therapy from birth to control your tempers!" Fred said as he disappeared behind them still muttering. 

George stopped as Hermione let out a shocked gasp. "I think he might have heard about Angelina's date. It's a bit harsh tarnishing us all with the same brush..." 

George shrugged his shoulders as he walked to a bathroom and pushed the door open. Sometimes it was better not to ask when it was in relation to his twin. "In here." 

Hermione looked at him unimpressed. "George! This is the prefects bathroom. You aren't a prefect, you shouldn't have a key to this." 

George rolled his eyes and walked in without her. "If they didn't want us to use it they shouldn't have put a lock on it that could be tampered with." 

"That's not the point." 

George shook his head as he paced up and down. Why couldn't she shut up? _Oh well, best to be blunt, George._ "Okay, Hermione. I am not taking you to the Yule Ball." 

Hermione looked at him and he winced. His intention was to stop her talking, not to strike her mute entirely. "It's...it's not that I don't want to go with you it's just...you...you don't really want to go with me. I mean, be honest..." 

Hermione looked at him and sighed as she sat down. "That's....that's not true..." 

"Oh sure it's not. I mean come on, it's Ron. You want to go with Ron and he wants to go with you and if you don't go with him, you'll both regret it." _And I'll die a slow and painful death, or I'll feel so guilty I'll do the damn Avada Kedavra on myself._

Hermione shook her head as she looked at him with a smile. "He doesn't want to go with me. He sees me like Harry, you know? I could dye my hair purple and he wouldn't notice anything was different. I'm just...you know...there." 

George walked over to her and sighed, "You know, for such an insufferable smarty pants you are pretty dense. Ronniekins is crazy about you. He was going to ask you, he told me so." 

Hermione smiled as she looked at him, big brown eyes shining. "Really? He did?" 

George nodded his head. "Yup, that he did, he's crazy about you, I mean...he's crazy at the best of times but he seemed pretty sane when he was talking to me." He let out a deep breath as he continued, "Maybe a little too sane, good job I didn't tell him..." 

Hermione bit her lip as she shook her head. "I don't know..." 

"Hermione." 

"It's just...I...what if he doesn't?" She asked in a small voice which belittled her usual confident exterior. "I don't want to be his last resort again. I want him to ask me because he wants to go with me." 

George shook his head: how could she not see it? "He will. Seriously, he's smitten, and the only reason he's freaking over the Ginny date, which I am seriously going to find out about, is because he thinks you are going with someone!" 

"Well, technically I am..." Hermione said glumly. 

George sank back surly: way to make a guy feel good about himself. "No, that was a mistake. I mean, come on, we would both die." 

Hermione let out a laugh as she looked at him. "I don't think it was a mistake: good idea..." 

"Wrong Weasley." George said as he looked at her with a warm smile. "Listen, I'm not going to pretend I don't think you're pretty, or that we would have fun but the brutal truth is that we would drive each other crazy before we even got to the ball. Plus, I like breathing: oxygen does wonders for my quidditch game." 

"You really think I'm...you know? Pretty?" 

"Yeah, in a brain box kinda way," he said with a smirk as he stood and walked to the door. "Listen, I'll speak to Ron and I bet you he asks right away, and if he doesn't then I'll take you and he will be stuck moping in a corner like last year." 

"Oh, how chauvinistic of you, who says I would want to go with you?" she asked with an amused smile. 

George grinned as he opened the door. "Who says Ron will want my cast-off?" 

Hermione glared at him and walked out. "If you put it like that I'll kill you myself." 

"If I put it like that I think Ron will do it for me..." George said as he closed the door. Now all he had to do was have a discussion with his brother: man to man. 

TBC 

Coming Next: What happened to Fred? Did he talk to Angelina? Did he find out about her date? Will he get over his women issues? Will we find out how he got covered with mud? Check out part 3 to find out! 


	3. Note To Self - It's Never Fred's Fault.....

Never Underestimate the Stupidity of Men...

Author: Sunnycouger (sunnycouger@lineone.net) 

Rating: PG 

Disclaimer: Not mine, JKR owns all and makes the billions from it :( I just borrow them on occasion to have my wicked way with them ;) 

Category: Fred and Angelina. Ron/Hermione with some George/Hermione, Lee/Alicia and other pairings which will reveal themselves in time ;) 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Fred Weasley liked to consider himself a happy guy, very rarely did he let anything get to him without planning some kind of payback but at this point he could barely think straight let alone plot extravagant revenge. At this point it would be fair to say he was annoyed. 

Upset. 

Ticked off. 

Pissed as hell. 

"Fred? Fred you have to stop fuming - your face is twisted so tight it's getting hard to see your facial features," Lee Jordan said with concern. 

Fred didn't respond. He was going to sit here, covered in mud until she showed her face and apologised. Oh she would feel guilty then and grovel. He would of course ignore her... 

"Fred?" 

Fred removed his gaze from the portrait hole to look at Lee. "What?" 

"What happened?" 

Fred let out a crazed laugh, what happened indeed? What had happened was that he was picked on because of a stupid, more than likely hormone filled girl who was completely irrational. *Completely* irrational. 

"Well, I was simply _innocently_ enquiring about a friends date and she took it completely the wrong way and overreacted. She pushed me off my broom!" 

"Angelina?" 

Fred nodded his head. To think he had considered asking her out! "She's off her head!" 

Lee smirked slightly as he sat down. "Well, that was never in debate. Okay, tell me exactly what happened." 

Fred sighed and looked at his friend confidently. He had done absolutely nothing wrong. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Fred walked out to the Quidditch field with his broom as Angelina and Katie flew in circles overhead while they tossed the quaffle to each other. He let out a sigh as he kicked off: the two of them had been acting weird with him for a few days now. Katie insisted on talking about the Ball at every available opportunity and had even described in agonising fine detail what Angelina's dress robes were like and how pretty she would look in them as well as how much her date would appreciate it. 

"Hello ladies, and how are we on this wet, windy and all-together miserable December morning?" 

Angelina looked at him with a grin as she tossed him the Quaffle. "We're great. And you? Where's that brother of yours? He chickened out?" 

He grabbed the Quaffle and circled round about her. "That he did, he knew that the pair of us would be too hot for him and Katie to handle..." he gave a mischievous wink as Katie shook her head in disbelief. 

"You two are incredibly full of yourselves you do realise that don't you?" 

Angelina grinned at her and nodded her head. "Yes, but it is true...you two haven't won in months. We're just too good together, ain't that right Fred?" 

"You know it. We have the full package, brains, beauty and skills..." 

Katie groaned as she flew over to them. "We haven't won in months because you two have been doing the mad flirting thing and irritated us into making mistakes." 

Angelina and Fred gasped in synchronisation. "We do not flirt!" 

Katie rolled her eyes. "Yes, of course you don't...I must have been seeing another 6 foot plus chaser and red headed beater then." 

"Hey!" Fred said with a smirk. He couldn't really deny it if he was honest. It was true, him and Angelina did flirt...but it was so easy that he almost didn't even notice anymore. 

"Hey yourself, so, since there are only three of us here," Katie began with a wink at Angelina, "let's talk about the Yule Ball." 

Fred groaned as he looked down. "What is it with you guys and the Yule Ball? It's a stupid dance...I mean, come on." 

Katie looked at Angelina and sighed. "This is spoken like a guy who still hasn't got a date for it..." 

"I have so got a date for it." 

She gave a smirk to Angelina as they both flew down a bit closer to the ground. "Good, that's us all got one then." 

Fred made a face: he would not ask who Angelina was going with. "Yeah, goody..." 

"You know Angelina, I think you are worrying about nothing about your robes. If I had a figure like yours I would have them cut lower than that..." 

"Any lower than that and I would be arrested," Angelina said with a laugh. "Alicia thinks I should slash them a bit higher on the leg..." 

Fred's eyes widened. He did NOT like the sound of that. Well, he did like the sound of that but NOT for some other guy to see. 

"Yeah, she's already been at mine...I have a thigh high split now to go with the slashed back." 

"Have you seen Alicia's? They are *so* beautiful - she's showing some navel and everything. Robes from the Middle East. I swear I am getting her to get me some in the summer..." 

Katie gave a laugh. "I know, the three of us will hit the nightclubs come graduation and knock the wizards socks off. 10 Galleons on Lee being rendered speechless." 

"Hey your guy will be speechless as well..." Angelina nudged Katie with a grin. "You scarlet woman you." 

Katie grinned as she summoned the Quaffle from a slack jawed Fred. "Yeah, the red is going to be different for me. But I think your purple will be just as eye catching..." 

Angelina giggled slightly as she looked up at Fred who was scowling at the conversation as she whispered. "I hope so." 

Fred looked down at the chasers and immediately felt the need to find out more about the arrangements for...protective reasons. Not because he was jealous...no no, he was just curious. "So, who's the lucky guy?" 

He flew down as Katie spoke animatedly. "Well, I'm going with a Ra..." 

"Yeah yeah, some Ravenclaw guy or something," he said dismissively as he turned to Angelina. "Who are you going with?" 

Katie gasped quickly before grinning at Angelina who was looking nervous. "Um, Darren McKenzie from Ravenclaw." 

"McKenzie?!?" Fred felt his face flush. That guy had irritated him from day one. "You realise he was the one who sold me up to McGonagall for breaking into the Ravenclaw Tower in second year? He then proceeded to aim his bludger at my head for every Quidditch game we have played against since? And you are going with him? I didn't know you were that desperate!" 

"Desperate?" Angelina gasped before her eyes narrowed. "Maybe if you were a better Beater the bludger wouldn't have hit your head." 

"Maybe if you were a better Chaser I would have been able to concentrate on my job as opposed to protecting you." 

She glared at him. "Don't blame me for the inadequacies in your Quidditch game." 

He gasped in shock - that one hurt. "It's funny you are talking about inadequacies when you are going with a walking talking one." 

"At least I have a date!" 

He rolled his eyes. "He's probably only after one thing, I mean if I dressed in robes slashed to my thigh and down to my waist he would probably go for me as well." 

Angelina's eyes narrowed as she flew towards him. "Are you trying to imply something Weasley?" 

"Yes, I think your 'date' is a jackass and that only an idiot or a desperate sad case would lower themselves to date him." 

She forced a smile at him before grabbing her wand and cursing his broom so it disappeared from under him. His eyes widened as he began the rapid descent from 10 feet in the air onto the muddy ground where he landed with a splat face first. 

"Angelina, what did you do!" Katie's concerned voice said as she looked down at Fred who was busy wiping his face as he looked up at them. "Where's his broom?" 

Angelina looked down at him with a strange look as she lifted her wand and blasted the broom down so him so it hit him in the face. "There it is." 

Before he could recover from the pain she had flown away. Katie looked down at him with a shake of the head. "You are the biggest idiot on the planet Fred Weasley and you may have just blown any chance you ever had with her. Well done." 

Fred looked up and shook his head as she flew away after Angelina. "I don't want a chance with her! She's bloody mental!" 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Fred looked at Lee expectantly. "See? I told you, I was completely innocent and she over reacted!" 

Lee nodded his head in sympathy, he certainly couldn't see anything amiss. "It's hormones, mate. Trust me, they all need anger management from birth. You didn't do anything wrong and she will come in soon in tears, begging you to forgive her. Trust me." 

Fred nodded his head and gave his dread-locked friend a smile. "Thanks Lee, I'm glad you can back me up on this." 

"Not a problem. It's nice to see justice done. I just can't believe she insulted your abilities as a Beater?" Lee shook his head, unable to comprehend that kind of insult. "I mean that was below the belt." 

"I know!" Fred agreed passionately. Oh yes, he knew he was right and soon Angelina would apologise and admit he was right, dump McKenzie and humiliate him and beg Fred to take her to the ball...and all would be good in the world. 

"Anyone seen Hermione?" The voice asked from behind him snapping him out of his thoughts. 

"Yeah, she's in the prefect's bathroom snogging George..." Fred instinctively answered without thinking until he heard the spluttering behind him and felt a sharp blow come from an open mouthed Lee who was pointing behind Fred. 

Fred slowly turned around to see a wide-eyed and pale looking Ron trying to recover from his coughing fit. "Excuse me?!?!" 

Fred immediately closed his eyes shut. He did not just say that. He was too young to die..."She's in the prefect's bathroom TALKING to George..." 

"You didn't say that!" 

Fred nodded his head as he looked at Lee desperately. George was going to kill him, and then Hermione would kill him...and Mum would kill him. "I did too! You...you need to clean those ears out Ron if you didn't hear that. Right Lee?" 

Lee nodded his head dutifully. "Definitely, he definitely didn't say snogging..." 

Ron gasped again and his ears began to burn crimson as he pointed at Fred. "You did!" 

"Not. I did not. God," Fred stood up and walked to his brother nervously, "anyone would think you wanted to hear that!" 

Ron shook his head dejectedly. "He was supposed to be helping!" 

"He is helping! They are just...talking. Honestly..." 

Ron looked at him. "Look me in the eyes and tell me that you believe that." 

Fred flinched slightly. He could do this. He was a Weasley twin after all: there wasn't a teacher in Hogwarts he hadn't lied to bare faced before. Of course, he had hardly ever inadvertently screwed up two of his brothers love lives and made a good case for fratricide before. "Ron, I TRULY believe they...are just talking." 

"You know, my eyes aren't on my shoes!" Ron said angrily. 

"Whose eyes aren't on their shoes?" 

Fred spun around to see Harry standing looking at Ron with concern. "You okay? Malfoy hasn't cursed the paintings to scream 'annoying, skint Weasel' again because I am seriously in the mood to deal with him. Then we'll see who has their pants in a bunch..." he laughed maniacally as Fred looked at him wide eyed causing Harry to shrug his shoulders. "I've been learning a lot of good charms recently...including one that really will constrict his underwear." 

Fred looked impressed. "Really? Oooh, you will share of course?" 

Lee laughed from the chair. "It's nice our 'saviour' is taking so much care over his preparation for the war with You Know Who..." 

Fred winked at Harry. "Hey, You Know Who wears underwear like everyone else..." 

"You hope," Lee added with a smirk before him, Fred and Harry all paused and looked at each other in horror. 

"Well, there goes my appetite for the next millennium. There are some mental images we do not need..." Fred said as he rubbed his queasy stomach. 

"Excuse me!" Ron called as he looked at them all with a shake of the head. 

Harry looked up. "What?" 

"George is kissing Hermione." 

Harry looked at Ron and began to laugh. Fred winced - poor Harry couldn't know how unfunny this was. 

"Yeah, and I'm sure as soon as she's done she's lining up Justin. Talk sense Ron." 

Ron walked over to Harry and stared him straight in the face. "I am as serious as I have ever been." 

Harry stopped laughing immediately and shook his head. "I swear there is something screwy going on with the girls in this place. I mean I thought it was Viktor..." 

Ron nodded his head. "I know! And he was going to talk to her...for me! Just wait until I see him...I'm going to go get him now. You want to come and distract Hermione so she doesn't cry when I kill her 'boyfriend'?" 

Harry winced. "Ron, I know you are upset but we have a Quidditch game in a few days so we need..." 

Ron glared at Harry causing him to smile nervously as he continued. "But Angelina can draft in a reserve so kill away..." 

"Thank you." 

Fred felt bad as he watched the exchange. He felt bad for a number of reasons: A) because he was responsible. B) because it was his twin that was going to die. C) because it would be Fred who was killed by his mother. D) because it was a woman who was behind it... 

He paused. That was right: it WAS a woman who had caused this. If it wasn't for Hermione this situation wouldn't have occurred so technically Fred was blameless. It wasn't *his* fault - it was the fault of the women. He was innocent. 

He looked at Ron and Harry and immediately put his arm around both their shoulders. "Guys, guys, guys...I think we are missing a vital thing here. Who is causing all the problems around here?" 

"George?" 

Fred shook his head as he guided his two young protégés over to the sofa. "No, no, no...I mean ALL the problems. Colin dating a Slytherin, Ginny spurning Harry, Hermione spurning you, Angelina nearly flipping killing me, Alicia robbing Lee..." 

"Um..." Harry said cautiously as Ron struggled to get out of Fred's grasp. 

Fred shook his head. They were dense. "It's the girls and this Yule Ball! That's what's to blame...we, we are guys and we can't handle this sort of thing so they manipulate the situation to get the reaction they want. For example: Hermione wants Ron to ask her so what does she do? She has a wee thing with the brother. A Slytherin wants to make a name for herself? She goes to the dance with a poor, naive Gryffindor who will have his heart broken and be humiliated," Fred turned and glared at the portrait hole as he gritted his teeth. "A stupid chaser wants to prove how 'desirable' she is so goes and dates the biggest non Slytherin prick in school while all the while going on about her 'pretty robes'...and slating off other peoples abilities on the pitch and making them take a bath in mud..." 

Lee looked at Fred with a grin as he got up and began walking away. "Fred? You are doing your glaring thing again..." 

Fred snapped around and forced a smile on his face. "My point is...we should just forget about them. We are guys...we are cool guys and we don't need flaky girls who need too much attention," he grinned and put his arms around Harry and Ron again. "Ron, just go ask another sane girl out. Harry? Go...ask someone else out as well." 

Harry looked at him. "Well actually I already have a da..." 

Fred continued talking ignoring Harry as he leant his head back. "Me? I already have just the girl in mind...we'll see who's inadequate then. Little Miss 'I have a date' can stick with Mr Boring for all I care..." 

Fred gave a maniacal laugh as Ron looked at him strangely before leaning back and looking at Harry. "Was it just me or did that make sense?" 

Harry shrugged his shoulders as he looked at Ron. "Don't know, but I have to confess, if it keeps George alive until after the game I'm happy..." 

Ron shook his head and sat back in his seat. "Oh no, I'm still going to kill him...just because I hate him." 

Harry looked at him and shrugged his shoulders as he slunk back in the seat. "Fair enough...try and avoid witnesses then because I won't be able to visit you in Azkaban." 

"You wouldn't face the Dementors to visit me?" 

"Well, you won't not kill your brother until after the Quidditch game for me." 

"Good point," Ron said with a yawn as he looked at Fred who was glaring at the door as a wet Angelina and Katie walked through it and over towards Alicia. Any second now she would apologise. Any second. 

She stood up, looked over at him and glared so hard that he swore she must have Medusa blood in there somewhere as he must have been turning to stone. She then tossed her hair and walked up towards the girls dorm airily. 

He stood abruptly, he was not putting up with that kind of crap from anyone. She wanted war? He'd give her it. "You took on the wrong Weasley, Johnson." 

He stormed towards the Portrait hole as Harry and Ron watched on in amusement. Harry looked at Ron and let out a laugh. "You have a weird family..." 

"Hey, as an honorary Weasley you have to take some of that credit..." 

Harry grinned as he looked at the door. "I bet you my firebolt that they two end up together before the Ball is over." 

Ron looked at his brother, still mud drenched and then looked at Harry with a quick nod of the head. "Oh I'll be having some of that. What do you want in the unlikely event of them getting together?" 

Harry let out a laugh. "You do the constriction charm on Snape at breakfast the day after the dance?" 

Ron began to laugh. "That's how confident I am that it won't happen that I will take those odds." 

They shook on it and Ron looked at Harry with a sad smile. "You want to come help me kill George?" 

Harry groaned as he stood up. "No. But I have nothing better to do..." 

Ron stood up and looked at Harry with a determined nod of the head. They would see what George had to say for himself...and then he would kill him. It wasn't because he was jealous of course, no no...he was just going to kill him for lying. 

TBC 

In part 4: Will Ron kill George? Will George kill Fred? Will Hermione go to the ball with Ron? And just who could win a fist fight out of Ron and George? Place your bets now...  



	4. Battle Of The Weasleys

Never Underestimate the Stupidity of Men...

Part: (4/?) 

Author: Sunnycouger (sunnycouger@lineone.net) 

Rating: PG 

Disclaimer: Not mine, JKR owns all and makes the billions from it :( I just borrow them on occasion to have my wicked way with them ;) 

Category: Fred and Angelina. Ron/Hermione with some George/Hermione, Lee/Alicia and other pairings which will reveal themselves in time ;) 

Part 4 - Battle of the Weasleys! 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Ron Weasley was not a man to be trifled with. Anyone would tell you that. He had a Weasley family trait of a short fuse and a belief in how right he was, and if ANYONE should know that it should have been his brothers. So they really couldn't say that they weren't warned about how he would react to certain situations. 

"So, how are you actually planning on killing George?" 

Ron looked at his best friend, Harry Potter who was looking surprisingly relaxed as Ron fumed beside him. "I thought I would throttle him until he apologised and then strangle him..." 

Harry nodded his head. "Ah, that will be nice for him..." 

"I think so, nice and tidy...plus I don't want to waste time cursing him, so it's kind of a necessity to do it that way..." 

"Well, look on the bright side - there's no Azkaban sentence if you just beat him up a bit..." 

"But if I just beat him up a bit I would be done in with Mum, so I would rather kill him and take my chances with the Dementors...at least then I would have a sporting chance." 

Harry nodded his head as he appeared contemplative. "You know, on the off chance that it isn't nice for him to be pummelled to death - do you not maybe think it might be a good idea to talk to him first?" 

Ron stopped and looked at Harry with a sigh. "No. Why, do you think I'm wrong?" 

Harry winced slightly. "Define 'wrong' before I answer." 

"Well, would you kill him if you were me?" 

Harry turned green as he looked at Ron like he had lost his mind. "Ron, I wouldn't be in that position because it would be...weird. I mean it's Hermione, she's like my big sister...it would be like you dating Ginny..." 

Ron shuddered as Harry walked on. "Thanks for that mental image..." 

"Well, you started it," Harry said as he waited on Ron to catch up. "Don't you think you are maybe going a bit far in killing George just because he's going with Hermione is all I'm saying?" 

Ron nodded his head and sighed. Stupid Harry, what kind of best friend was he? He should be acknowledging how right Ron was and how he wasn't over reacting at all. "I'm not overreacting..." he muttered to himself as he kicked the ground. "I don't care who she goes with..." 

"Uh-huh, I see that..." Harry said with a sigh. "You know, maybe Fred has got it wrong. I mean it's not like he hasn't been wrong before and he did look a little...wound up with the Angelina thing." 

"No, he got it right. He tried to deny it and you know how he gets when he gets nervous...all stuttery and Lee basically said it out right." 

"You know, for them being such trouble makers you would figure they would be able to lie better...your family are horrible liars. You can see through it a mile away..." 

"Weasley trait...anything remotely important and we are hopeless at covering it up - well apart from my former brother who is an accomplished liar, and back-stabber to boot." 

Harry gave a low whistle as he looked at Ron. "It's nice that you're not bitter, you know that?" 

Ron ignored him and they walked in silence a few steps before he spoke. "So, I think you should ask Ginny again. She won't tell anyone who she's going with, so, I think Lavender has been teaching her to 'play hard to get' and she's just lying. I mean lets face it: who is she really going to go with if it's not you, Colin or Neville?" 

Harry looked at Ron with a shake of the head. "I'm pretty sure she has other friends you know." 

"Uh huh, I know she does...but she's not going to go with any of them. So, you should ask her again, she probably just wants you to be...what do the women call it when they want you to bug them every two minutes?" 

"Persistent?" 

"Uh-huh, that's the word. Yeah, so that's what she wants from you. Persistence." 

"Yeah, like I believe that. Besides, I have a date..." 

Ron looked at Harry in disbelief. "You are giving up on my sister because she said no once?" 

Harry shook his head and walked on. "No, I'm giving up on her because it's...weird. I mean come on, she's Ginny! Your sister and," he shrugged his shoulders, "don't you think it would be a kinda...strained and awkward night? I mean, she doesn't really talk to me and to be honest, she's...just Ginny, who I like I do but - not like that...plus, I need someone who will say more than 5 words to me. It would be bordering on the torturous..." 

Ron narrowed his eyes - was there something wrong with dating Ginny? First Harry thought of Hermione as a sister (a sister? Had he even looked at her? There was nothing sisterly about her apart from her annoying, know-it-all streak - and Ron had been the one who had been accused of being slow?) and now Ginny? Did this boy even like women? 

Harry winced again as he looked at Ron. "No offence..." 

Ron looked intently at his friend before shrugging his shoulders - he supposed he could see where Harry was coming from. The two of them would have drove each other crazy within a week. "Fair enough, to be honest I would rather you two didn't date I think it would freak me out if I had to see the two of you with your tongues down each others throats at the Burrow," he stopped and shuddered as he grabbed a hold of Harry. "If you ever date Ginny and snog her in the Burrow I will have to kill you. Nothing personal, but you know, elder brother's prerogative and all that." 

Harry looked at Ron plainly for a second before nodding his head with a smile. "Okay, I will guarantee here and now that if I do that you can kill me...no grudges." 

Ron let out a breath and smiled at Harry. "Good, thanks, Harry." 

"Glad to be of help," Harry smiled as they walked on. 

Ron grinned. "So, who you taking to the Ball then?" 

Harry looked down quickly. "Um, you will never believe it..." 

Ron looked at Harry apprehensively. "If it's a bloody Slytherin I am going to have to tell Dumbledore because there's clearly something going on with everyone's sanity." 

Harry shook his head and laughed. "Nope, not a Slytherin. What do you take me for?" 

"Colin did it." 

"Yeah, but that's Colin...he's...a bit different from the usual Gryffindor..." 

Ron let out a laugh. "Yeah, he's got a few screws loose, he did stalk you for a year after all." 

Harry looked at Ron and smirked. "Hey, I am apparently very stalkable according to Katie when she was trying to set me up with the fruitcake from Hufflepuff." 

Ron shook his head. Only those Quidditch girls would tell Harry of all people that they were 'stalkable'. "They girls are off their rockers...so, who you going with then?" 

"Sally Anne." 

"Perks?" 

Harry rolled his eyes. "No, Sally Anne Weasley your long lost cousin - of course Sally Anne Perks. Do you know any other Sally Anne's?" 

"I barely know that one - how did you get talking to her?" 

Harry looked down and smiled slightly as he kicked his shoe off the ground. "Quidditch. She was out practising when I went out for a fly and we kinda got to talking. She then proceeded to beat me at shooting Quaffles..." 

"She's a chaser, she should beat you. Besides, you suck at that. Why do you think we put you in goal when we play at home?" 

Harry frowned at Ron. "I thought it was because I was a half way decent Keeper?" 

Ron shook his head and gave a condescending pat on Harry's arm as Harry looked more than a little offended. "Never mind, you are a fantastic seeker..." 

Harry looked down and muttered. "Oh, bloody generous of you to give me that...here was me getting ready to hang up my firebolt as well. " 

Ron laughed as Harry sulked and looked very unlike the saviour of the world as he muttered inaudibly while intermittedly throwing dirty looks in Ron's direction before they both paused when they heard a voice. 

"I mean it, George! You better not say that!" 

Ron stopped and hit Harry's arm at the sound of Hermione's voice from round the corner. He gasped and pointed in the direction the voice was coming from as Harry looked at him. 

"It might not mean anything?" Harry said hopefully. 

"Fine, I won't say that - I'll just tell him that I let you practice kissing on me so he wouldn't have to make do with an amateur?" George's teasing voice echoed back at them as if in answer to Harry's statement. 

Ron felt his breathing quicken as he turned around and stormed back down the hall quickly followed by Harry who looked stunned. Ron clenched and unclenched his fist in an effort to control his temper - he would not over react, he would not over react. He would kill him, but he would not react right away... 

"Why are we coming back up here?" Harry whispered as he looked at Ron. "I thought you wanted to talk to them?" 

"I do, but I want to see if she'll tell me when she doesn't know that I've heard her and her 'lover boy'..." Ron spat as he stopped and turned around. 

Harry nodded his head as he looked icily down the corridor. "I cannot believe she would do that! It's just wrong!" 

"He's as bad, he said he would talk to her for me!" Ron whispered to Harry as Hermione and George became visible from the end of the corridor. "Just walk and pretend that we didn't hear anything and see what they said..." 

"What if they lie?" Harry asked as him and Ron began walking slowly towards Hermione while Ron forced a smile on his face. 

Ron looked at them both and took another deep breath. "Then I will kill him." 

Harry nodded his head as he forced a smile on his own face as Hermione gave him and Ron a smile as she approached. 

"Ron! Harry, what are you doing here?" 

Ron looked at her and felt a surge of jealousy overwhelm him as he thought about her and George but forced the feeling down as he looked at George with a tight smile. "Looking for my dear brother, and I found him. What are you two doing here?" 

Hermione looked at George and blushed slightly as she turned back to look at Ron and Harry. "Just talking..." 

Harry glared at George who stepped back in surprise before he turned his cool gaze to Hermione. "What about?" 

Hermione looked at him nervously. "Um, just stuff..." 

Ron nodded his head as he looked at George, not even bothering to force a smile. "What kind of 'stuff'?" 

"The stuff we talked about earlier, Ron," George said as he looked more than a little confused at the tone that his brother and Harry were taking with him and Hermione. 

Ron looked at Harry and they both gave a derisive laugh before folding their arms simultaneously and giving George and Hermione a look of disbelief. "You know what Harry and I were talking about?" 

Hermione shook her head. "No, what?" 

"The Yule Ball...Harry's going with Sally Anne, they met playing Quidditch and that's where they have been secretly seeing each other..." 

"Okay," Hermione nodded her head but looked puzzled. "Good...I'm glad for you, Harry..." 

Before she could continue Harry had interrupted by looking at Ron. "It's not the best meeting place though, Ron...not as...'private' as some other places..." 

Ron nodded his head as he looked directly at George and Hermione. "You should meet in the prefect's bathroom then, Harry. I hear that you can get away with just about anything in there." 

Hermione looked absolutely horror stricken as she took a step back. "Oh...oh..." 

"Ron, I think...I think you might be a little off base here..." George's panicked voice began, "you can't get away with anything in there - nothing. Right, Hermione?" 

Hermione was still speechless as she looked at Ron with her hand at her mouth, her eyes wide. "Oh...this, it's not..." 

"Not what?" Ron asked as he glared at George and clenched his fist before shoving it in his robe pockets. He would not react, he would not react... 

George turned away from Ron and began looking around as if to look for an exit. "Not what you think it is. You know, I would love to explain this to you just now but I have to be somewhere." 

Ron nodded his head. "You have to be here." 

"No, no...I'm pretty sure it's somewhere else, you know...a place where there are lots of people...preferably more than one teacher..." George muttered as he continued to try and look past his much taller brother. "We can talk there..." 

"Or we could talk here." 

George looked up and forced a nervous smile on his face as Ron narrowed his eyes. "Or we could talk here, good idea." 

Ron looked at Harry and nodded his head as they both took a step back but kept their eyes on the two guilt ridden people in front of them. "Can you believe them?" 

Harry shook his head. "Nope, I mean...it's just..." 

"Wrong? Tell me about it." Ron sighed as he looked over at Hermione and George. He wanted to pretend that he was just angry at the fact that George had lied to him, but he knew deep down it was more than that. He knew he was hurt because she went with his brother, of all people she had to go with his brother?? There was just something wrong there...something not right. 

"Listen," Harry began as he turned to block Ron's view of the others. "I know we were joking about it earlier, but you really shouldn't hurt him. You'll just look petty..." 

Ron looked at Harry and gave a sad smile. "You didn't here what he said - he told me he would fix it and that I shouldn't ask anyone else..." 

Harry shook his head. "This is a mess. Well, okay, you are well within your right to beat him up but you know...don't curse him." 

Ron looked over and felt his anger rise again before he reached into his pocket and handed Harry his wand. "You should probably keep that then..." 

"Um, excuse me? Why are you giving Harry your wand?" George's voice came over towards them causing both Harry and Ron to turn and glare at him. "Or should I just be standing quietly over here?" 

"Oh this is ridiculous, I am not standing here all day. Ron, can I speak to you?" Hermione asked as she walked over towards Ron and Harry. 

Ron looked at her coolly before shaking his head. "Can't, I have to talk with my 'brother', family stuff and all that. Harry wants to talk to you though, right, Harry?" 

Harry looked at Hermione and nodded his head as he indicated with his head for her to follow him. "Yeah, we should go and let George and Ron talk." 

Hermione looked nervously at Ron and George. "I think we should stay..." 

Harry shook his head. "No, I think they should be alone. We'll get you at the staircase, Ron." 

Ron nodded his head as Harry led Hermione away. "'k, bye, Harry." 

As they disappeared George looked at Ron apologetically. "I know what you must be thinking but you've got it all wrong, I mean what you heard was just us clowning around..." 

"Were you clowning around when Fred said you were snogging in the prefect's bathroom?" 

George opened his mouth in absolute shock. "Fred? Fred as in my twin Fred? As in both our brother Fred?" 

"Uh huh," Ron began as he took a step closer to George. "The one and only. Is he a liar?" 

George looked murderous. "I swear I'm going to kill him..." 

"Were you together with her?" Ron forced himself to say calmly. 

"Well, it would depend on what you would mean with together..." 

Ron felt his face flush in anger as he fought every instinct to just punch him, but he would be calm. He wouldn't let them get a reaction. "Did you kiss her?" 

"Once or twice..." 

Ron nodded his head as he turned around. He would not react, he would not react, he would not react... He shook his head as he turned around abruptly and let out a roar as he pounced at George - screw the non reaction. 

George looked shocked as Ron pushed him to the floor and proceeded to punch him hard across the cheekbone but he recovered in time to push him off and get back on his feet ready to defend himself. 

"You flipping idiot! What did you do that for?" 

Ron got to his feet and stared at George. "Because you are a back-stabbing, lying, cheating, sorry excuse for a Weasley!" 

"I know you're upset," George began as he clenched his own fist. "But I think you should watch what you're saying. So, take that back." 

"Make me," Ron retorted as he glared at George. "You are also the closest thing to a Slytherin that I've seen. Malfoy probably has more integrity than you!" 

George's eyes widened as he ran at Ron and punched him in the face. Ron pushed him off and aimed a blow at his stomach knocking the wind out of him. George looked up at Ron and charged again, dodging a punch as he returned the punch his little brother had landed in his stomach moments earlier. As Ron was doubled over he took the initiative and aimed a blow at his face. "Take it back!" 

"Not a bloody chance - back-stabber!" 

George gave a loud scream and took another hard swing but failed to notice as Ron rolled out the way causing George to punch the wall. "Ow! You bloody well broke my hand! How can I play Quidditch with a broken hand? Pomfrey doesn't heal wounds caused with fighting, you pillock!" 

Ron looked at him, eyes fiery as he aimed a punch sharply at his brothers face. "Oh, my heart bleeds." 

The punch connected and George fell on the floor in a heap leaving Ron watching him. As Ron saw his brother on the floor he shook his head and walked over to the other end of the corridor before speaking quietly. "I can't believe you did this to me. Why did you lie and say you would help?" 

George struggled to a sitting position as he worked his way over to the wall and leant against it as Ron went to the other side of the corridor and slid down. "I didn't lie. I did talk to her for you, it was a nothing between me and Hermione..." 

Ron shook his head as he looked at George. That was easy for him to say. "It's not nothing to me." 

George closed his eyes as he heard Ron's pain laced voice and leant his head back against the wall. "I know, I'm sorry..." 

"Little late for that..." Ron muttered as he looked at his bruised hand. "You knew I wanted to ask her..." 

"And she wants to go with you, she does. She told me." 

Ron huffed as he looked at his brother. No way would he be a 'pity' date for anyone, especially not Hermione. "Well, I don't want to go with her, so you may as well take her." 

George looked at him and shook his head. "Could you be any more stupid? There is absolutely nothing going on between Hermione and me..." 

"Now," Ron said sourly. He wasn't being stupid, he was being smart. He couldn't go with her now. 

George groaned as he looked at his hand. "Fine! There's nothing going on now. And she really wants to go with you, and you want to go with her and you're just being an idiot." 

Ron looked down and shook his head. "If she had wanted to go with me she wouldn't have made the moves on my brother...not that I should be surprised, she seems to like older guys. She'll be after bloody Snape next..." 

George shuddered as he looked at a queasy looking Ron. "Please don't even say that, it's disturbing..." 

"Hey, Krum and him have a lot of physical similarities - greasy hair, black robes, big nose, sour expression, sallow skin and" he winced as he continued, "now that I think about it she does seem overeager for his approval in Potions..." 

George shook his head. "You are a sick puppy, Ron." 

"I just..." Ron slumped his shoulders down as he looked at George. "I don't think I can bring myself to ask her after what you two did." 

George sighed. "Well, if you want your petty pride to get in the way then go ahead and don't ask her - but you'll be the one who suffers." 

Ron looked at George and sighed. He supposed he could be right but it...it was his brother. She had kissed his brother. How could he get over that? He stood up and walked over to George and reluctantly held out his hand to help him up. "I hate you for this, you know?" 

George stood up and patted his brother on the shoulder. "I know, I am sorry though." 

Ron shrugged the hand of his shoulder and began walking away. "So you said. You better go see if you can fix the hand - Angelina will kill me if you can't play against Ravenclaw. See you later..." 

"See you..." George said quietly as he watched Ron walk away looking dejected. "Ron?" 

Ron turned around. "What?" 

"I really am sorry, but you shouldn't blame Hermione." 

Ron shook his head. "Yeah, I know..." 

"Is Fred in the common room?" 

"No, he had to go see someone or something - he left just before me and Harry." 

George nodded his head. "When you see him tell him I want to see him right away. I'll be at the hospital wing and then I'm going to the common room. Tell him he better find me before I find him." 

"You can't blame him - if you didn't lie this wouldn't matter!" 

George shook his head. "If he hadn't opened his big mouth this wouldn't have even come up, now tell him, okay?" 

Ron let a laugh escape, turned around and began walking away again. "Fine, if you want to blame anyone but you then fine, I'll tell him." 

George stood as his younger brother disappeared and felt like the worst scum on the planet at having caused Ron to look so depressed. His own brother hated him. This was officially a disaster - how could he have been such an idiot? "Because it's a family trait...idiocy is bred into us..." 

He turned and began walking to the hospital wing slowly. He would kill Fred first of all, then he would have to try and talk to Ron again, and then he would have to talk to Harry who looked more than slightly pissed himself. He exhaled sharply as he walked up the stairs to the hospital wing. He would be better off jumping out the Astronomy Tower - the impact of the ground would be less painful than what he had to live with. 

"Stupid conscience, always knew it would be a hindrance..." he muttered as he climbed the stairs ignoring the giggling of the students who saw his bruised and bloodied face. "Well, George, just think - things can only get better from here on in..." 

Only better - he just wished he believed that. 

TBC 

In part 5 - George finally finds an unexpected ally in the hospital wing while Ron has a talk with Hermione about, amongst other things - George, the Yule Ball, older men, whether violence solves anything and whether or not she does indeed have a thing for a certain Potions professor...;) 


	5. Open Mouth, Insert Foot

Never Underestimate the Stupidity of Men...

Author: Sunnycouger (sunnycouger@lineone.net) 

Rating: PG 

Disclaimer: Not mine, JKR owns all and makes the billions from it :( I just borrow them on occasion to have my wicked way with them ;) 

Category: Fred and Angelina. Ron/Hermione with some George/Hermione, Lee/Alicia and other pairings which will reveal themselves in time ;) 

~ ~ * ~ ~ 

Chapter 5: Open Mouth, Insert Foot 

George had finally arrived at the hospital wing and stood outside the door nervously. What was a good excuse that didn't involve the phrase 'I was beaten up by my little brother'? Stupid rules that said they wouldn't heal injuries caused by fighting - what was the point of having magical medicine if they weren't going to use it? 

"Well, George - let's get it over with. Just say you fell off your broom..." 

He shook his head and barged the door open. He was a Weasley and he could lie to the best of them, besides, Madam Pomfrey knew that sometimes certain things happened and that she should heal you even if you had broken the rules. "Hello, Madam Pomfrey - my favourite person in the whole school..." he looked around for her. She wasn't there? "Hellooo? Come out, come out wherever you are..." 

He stopped when he heard a soft laugh come from behind one of the curtains. "She's not here, I'm afraid..." 

He gave a grin at the sound of the voice - it sounded pretty, and where there was a pretty voice there was a girl worth getting to know better. He immediately walked quickly over and jumped on the bed that was beside the closed curtains. "Oh well, I guess you'll just have to entertain me then..." 

"I'm guessing from the way you were smarming as you came in you were trying to butter her up?" 

He smirked. Oh yes, this girl knew him so well. "Me, never. Trust me - I'm the innocent party here." 

He heard her reach over and pull the curtains back causing him to jump slightly as she looked at him, jet black hair falling over one shoulder as she let the curtain fall away from her hand. "Oh yeah, I'm sure a Weasley twin was the innocent party..." 

Cho Chang? Wow, Harry would be wishing he was here right about now. "It's true...well, not exactly true..." 

She gave him a warm smile before her gaze fell on his hand. "Oh, look at your hand! How are you going to play tomorrow with that? How could you be so stupid as to go and injure yourself before a Quidditch game? You think she'll fix it?" 

He sighed as he looked at the broken hand. "Hence the smarming - I'm hoping she's going to believe I fell off my broom." 

Cho shook her head and gave a low whistle. "Well, good luck with that, George. If you get her to believe that I will be truly impressed..." 

He mentally took a step back - how did she know it was him? "Excuse me?" 

"Good luck with that." 

He shook his head. "How did you know it was me?" 

She looked at him like he had gone crazy. "I'm not a complete idiot you know, I've played against you for the past three years? You wear your hair shorter than your brother during term time, you are a bit saner, you talk a bit quieter, you dress differently...why?" 

He felt himself smile, so some people could tell that they were two different people after all. "No, no reason - so, what're you doing here? You not playing tomorrow?" He realised he probably sounded too hopeful at that but added a quick smile. "Or are you? What you in for?" 

"Um, I...twisted my...ankle," she said with a slight blush which gave George the feeling that she wasn't being entirely honest. "I'm definitely playing though - we owe you guys." 

He let out a laugh. "You guys don't stand a chance, you should cut your losses and play the injury card." 

She didn't look amused as her dark eyes flashed and she sat up on the bed and glared at him. "We don't stand a chance? Really? Well we will when you guys have only one beater." 

He gave a laugh. "Trust me, Pomfrey will fix this in a minute - even if she doesn't believe me, she will still fix it. Just because I know persuasion..." 

Cho smiled mischievously. "You know, I could be the bitch that the Slytherins think I am and tell her exactly what happened." She gave a wink as she looked at him. "Then again, I don't want to give you guys any excuses for getting a good beating tomorrow." 

He laughed. "Oh, I'm sure. We could play with one beater and two chasers and still beat you all - I mean, other than you, your team is empty." 

Cho smiled knowingly. "Oh I wouldn't say that, Sally is an outstanding player this year. In fact, I think Harry's been giving her some pointers..." 

George coughed. Harry had been doing what? Wait until Angelina heard that. "You guys have been spying on Harry?" 

Cho looked offended. "No! What do you take us for? Slytherins?" 

"Cheats?" he said with a small voice but with a grin to soften it. She merely began to laugh. 

"We'll do our talking on the pitch to prove that wrong. So, tell me - what happened? Who were you fighting with?" 

He grimaced as he sat back - he had a couple of options here, he could make up an elaborate story of fighting a large troll and saving the whole school which, even he had to admit sounded incredibly impressive or he could tell the much more embarrassing truth. "Would you believe me if I said I fought a troll and won but during my act of incredible bravery, which I have received no thanks for by the way, the troll broke my hand?" 

She looked contemplative before dissolving into laughter. Her eyes twinkled as she looked at him and tried to compose herself. "Um, it sounds plausible I suppose but I would have to say no, I don't think I believe you..." 

He sighed dramatically. "I try and give you a good story and you don't want it? Okay, here's the deal - you know Harry, right?" 

She sat up and looked at him in shock. "You fought Harry?" 

He shook his head - that would have at least had a bit of dignity attached to it. Harry was, after all, a pretty handy fighting machine, even if he was scrawny. "No, don't I wish...no, you know Harry's best friend? I fought him..." 

She looked puzzled for a second. "Is...isn't Harry's best friend your..." 

"Brother, yes...yes he is." 

Her eyes widened as she bit her lip. "Um, okay...it, clearly went well..." 

George shifted uncomfortably. "Well, he's messed up as well - but he cheated - he ducked when I was going to punch him and I got the wall..." 

"Oh you poor baby," she said, he voice laced with sarcasm as she gave him a disapproving look. "You know that doesn't really make a person go on your side. What were you fighting about? Or is it private?" 

"A girl - I made a stupid, stupid, stupid mistake and Ron didn't take it well - but I think it's sorted now. It's this stupid Yule Ball - I wish they'd never arranged another one." 

He turned around to see Cho looking down as she answered softly. "Me too - I wish that as well. I'm not going this year..." 

"You mean some guy hasn't asked you yet?" he asked in shock. How could some guy be that big an idiot? 

She shook her head as she looked up at him and he got the distinct feeling that it was a forced smile that she was using. "No, I'm just not going this year - it would be a bit of an anticlimax after last year..." 

George mentally slapped himself - last year she went with Cedric Diggory before he was murdered. The whole thing must be bringing up a lot of unpleasant memories for her. "I'm sorry, I forgot all about..." 

She quickly raised her hand to silence him. "Oh, don't be silly - I just don't fancy it this year." 

He sunk back on the bed. "That makes two of us..." 

"Ah, Ms Chang - I made that potion for you so you can go, if you want. Seriously, why you girls insist on playing Quidditch when you know that it's not convenient at certain times is be..." He heard Cho cough loudly in an effort to halt the medi-witch's speech as her cheeks began to flush with colour. He tried to stifle his laughter as Cho buried her head and reached over for the potion. 

"Ankle, huh?" He asked as he leant close to her with a grin. 

"Thanks, Madam Pomfrey," Cho said as she lifted her head, her face now pink. "That's great." 

Madam Pomfrey nodded her head and gave Cho a warm smile before turning to George and the smile evaporating. "Mr Weasley, please tell me you haven't been fighting?" 

Cho looked at him as she swung her legs round the side of the bed and leant close. "Maybe you should tell her the troll story? You never know, someone might buy it." 

"Wait and see the expert at work," he said with a wink as he got up and walked to Madam Pomfrey. "Oh please, does this look like a person who's been fighting? I simply fell down the stairs and on the way down I accidentally landed on a particularly enthusiastic dramatic interpretation of the Goblin Rebellion by some first years and got whacked in the face by a flaying arm." 

He flashed his most charming smile as he reached over to take Pomfrey's hand. "I don't want to get the little kids in trouble, after all." 

Pomfrey looked at him and shook her head. "Nice try, but I'm sorry. I promised the heads of houses that I wouldn't fix self-inflicted injuries. You have to go, I'm afraid." 

He gasped. But...if he couldn't play? He reached for his throat - Angelina would kill him, and then Harry who still hadn't forgiven him. If he caused Harry to lose a game...he would...it wasn't worth thinking about what he would do. "Please, please, please fix me! I swear I wasn't fighting...please? I'll help out here for a week? A month?" 

"As much as I wish I could, I just can't. I'll give you a pain potion but that's the best I can do, Mr Weasley. You have to go and let this be a lesson to you." 

He turned to look at Cho and felt his face fall. "I'm not playing - Angelina's going to kill me." 

~ ~ * ~ ~ 

Ron had walked away from his meeting with George feeling rather confused about the whole thing. When he woke up he hadn't expected his day to involve a fist fight with his older brother or the realisation that his 'friend' was involved with said brother in what was a clear progression in the long list of infatuations with older men. Nope, as the day had went on he had definitely become more and more confused about everything. And now he had to go and face Hermione. He walked towards the courtyard where he knew Harry and Hermione would be so he could get it over with. It wouldn't take long after all to say 'hey, didn't want to go with you anyway - knock yourself out with George.' He would say it and that would be it, things could get back to normal. He didn't feel bad about it at all. 

"Harry, I didn't mean for anyone to find out!" 

He stopped behind the bush as he heard her voice - oh, she was planning on deceiving them? That made it so much better. 

"Hermione, you think it makes it better knowing that you were going to deceive him? I mean come on! If he had done that to you what would you be saying?" Harry's voice echoed back. "It would be like Ron snogging Lavender and you finding out from someone else. You should have known better." 

"Harry, you can't make me feel any worse about this - please, I know you're angry but..." She sniffed loudly before continuing. "But I didn't mean to hurt anyone and now you both hate me. It was a stupid, stupid mistake. I just...I just didn't...didn't want to be second choice again..." 

Ron waited on Harry's response saying that she had been stupid but, as the time passed he realised that it wasn't going to come. And sure enough when Harry had eventually began speaking Ron was horrified to hear that he was actually comforting her. Worse was, he had the distinct feeling that Harry was...hugging her. 

"Hermione, we don't hate you. I mean, Ron's just angry and I'm just surprised at you. I'll see George later because he knew about Ron - but you haven't done a lot wrong. Well, you have but it's nothing that can't be made right," Harry said through the bushes, much to Ron's shock. "Although making it right might take a while - a long while and for once you can't complain that Ron is in the wrong." 

He had heard about enough - he accepted that Harry always liked to keep the peace but he didn't need to hear it. Besides, he wanted to have his say before Harry had made her feel too much better...this was one of the few times where he could say he was the injured party and he had to be allowed to express it. He coughed loudly to announce his arrival as he stepped around the bush to see Harry giving him a smile. "All right, Ron?" 

He nodded as he looked at Hermione. "Great." 

"What happened to you? You didn't fight him, did you? Ron - he has a Quidditch match tomorrow!" Hermione said as she stood up. Ron was shocked - where was his apology? Why wasn't she asking for his forgiveness? Why was she concerned about him??? 

"Yes and tough. I don't care..." 

Harry winced and stood. "I think I'm going to go and let you two talk - I'll see you later. Um, Ron? How...bad is George?" 

Ron sighed as Harry walked past him, now what would be the best way to tell him this? "He broke his hand when he tried to punch me." 

"Oh, brilliant! Just what we needed," Harry's eyes widened before he opened his mouth in shock. "I am going to kill him - what's he doing punching anyone after what he did?" 

"I don't know, you know what like he is..." Ron said without a shred of guilt. "See you, Harry." 

Harry nodded and walked away leaving Hermione and Ron on their own. 

"I can't believe you're letting George take all the blame," Hermione said sternly. 

"Not all the blame, you do get some of it." 

Hermione blinked and sighed. "I am so sorry, I didn't mean for it to happen." 

He shook his head as he shoved his hands in his robes. "Doesn't matter. I don't care, you can go to the Yule Ball with whoever you want. I don't care." 

She looked down and shook her head. "I don't want to go with him!" 

Ron shook his head as he looked away from her. He would not fall for it - Fred was right, women knew how to manipulate men and he would not fall for it. _He_ wasn't going to be made a fool of by any woman. No, he was smarter than that and no matter how much she looked down, her big brown eyes glistening, her lip trembling slightly...it didn't bother him. _He_ was in the right - _he_ was being smart... "Why did you kiss him? I mean, I don't care but he is my brother. Is it some 'older man' obsession?" 

She looked at him and sat down. "Excuse me?" 

"You know, you like older men - first it was Lockhart, then Viktor and now George. You've never had a thing for anyone your own age. I mean, you pay awfully close attention in potions - is it maybe something to do with wanting Snape's attention?" 

She gasped and in that second the mood of the conversation changed. Gone was the apologetic feeling, gone was the glassy eyes and gone was the trembling lip. No, for some reason he got the distinct idea that she was angry at him? "I can't believe that you just said that! Lockhart was a crush! You know like all children get? Viktor was a dear friend who happened to be a few years older and I kissed George twice! How dare you insinuate that, Ron Weasley! Snape? You think I like Snape?" she said as she stood up and walked over to him and pressed a finger into his chest. "The reason I try harder in Snape's class is because I want to prove to him that I'm as good as any of the others. But you wouldn't know that because you never ask! You think I enjoy it? No, but if he asked me a question and I got it wrong then it would give the Slytherins ammunition!" 

He took a step back as a feeling of guilt washed over him. What had happened? How had the shoe been switched to the other foot as quickly? "I'm so..." 

Before he even had the chance to apologise she had barged past him abruptly. He turned to look at her as she turned towards him. "And for your information - I have had a 'thing' for someone my own age, but quite frankly I wish I hadn't bothered because he is nothing more than an idiotic, insensitive, crazy...idiot!" 

He flinched. Her insults were usually much better structured than that. Whoever she had a thing for had clearly ticked her off. He looked at her as she wiped her eyes and marched off. Now he had to deal with the fact that not only had she been with George but she had her eye on another boy in their own year - how could he have missed that? "Well, that's not my fault! Who is he anyway?" 

Rather than the details he expected she merely threw her hand up in the air and ran off towards the school leaving him standing on his own. Okay, now he was confused - what had he done wrong? He shook his head and began making his own way back to the school - he had to speak to Fred. The little outburst had to mean something and it wasn't fair that she was making him feel bad when she was to blame. He was the wounded party and now she was storming off like he'd done something wrong? How did that work? He shook his head. He would never understand women, but Fred did and he'd know what to do... 

TBC 

In part 6 - Fred announces his date to Angelina, who shows that men don't have the monopoly on immaturity when she extracts her much deserved revenge while George makes a little announcement of his own...one question? How many players are on a Quidditch team again - someone might want to remind Angelina of that fact... 


End file.
